I met up with a friend today. You know this friend – she’s the one who makes your life greater for being in it. That’s her, my new friend Niki – Mom extraordinaire, an incredible photographer, a sister to four brothers, a daughter, a wife, a friend and mom of two. She’s 38, and one of those creative types that seem to splash the world with color and imagination everywhere she goes. When I first met her at a Christmas party a couple of months ago, I noticed her look: edgy, funky, could wear any hat and make it look fabulous. I mentioned how much I loved her shorty-short blonde hair and how few could pull it off, when I discovered HER STORY. Everyone has one, you know…
Up until January 3, 2011, life was cruising by for Niki. But it all changed in a split-second. Those things that seemed to matter – everyday life, paying bills, juggling schedules – all came to a screeching halt when doing a self-breast exam. Having just flown back from a Caribbean vacation and in the best shape of her life, she found a lump the size of a small bb. After a mammogram and ultrasound, she was diagnosed with Stage 2 invasive ductal carcinoma; it had already spread to her lymph nodes.
After a long weekend of waiting for a diagnosis, feeling as though she couldn’t wait another second, the doctor called. He was quite upset to give her the report. Yet oddly enough, her first reaction was to comfort and encourage him She explained there was nothing to worry about; it would all be OK.
The news was devastating. When trying to Google someone exactly like herself who had gone through this very experience: a 37 year old mom of two with breast cancer – Stage 2, she found only one person. At that moment, she set out on a mission to be an example to other women by documenting every aspect of her journey. So from then on, she had a camera or video following her around, documenting the entire process.
Breast Cancer Statistics (Source: BreastCancer.org)
- Cancer typically produces no symptoms when the tumor is small and treatable
- The American Cancer Society recommends annual mammograms starting at 40 years old and encourages self-breast exams for younger women
- 226,870 new cases of invasive breast cancer among women in the U.S. are expected in 2012
- Of those invasive cases, 85% will be ductal carcinoma
- Treatment may include radiation, chemotherapy, and/or hormone therapy
The Rush of Emotions Expected After Diagnosis
- Niki fought moments of fear and anxiety. How could this be? At 37, she wasn’t old enough to meet the minimum age requirement for annual mammograms.
- What if she had not done a self exam? She was shocked how fast the stages of cancer had grown from Stage 2a to 2b in a matter of two weeks.
- One minute you’re encouraged and emotions are stable. The next you can be in a grocery store and have a panic attack, not able to breathe. The world closes in.
- Anything can trigger a panic attack and you may not see it coming. Your life flashes before your very eyes, wondering how long you have to live, will you get a clean bill of health, will it creep its way back in and spread unknowingly.
Upon hearing the news, she began the next step, notifying her friends via Facebook. What would she say? She wrote and re-wrote it, erased and edited many versions, then simply wrote: “I HAVE BREAST CANCER.” and pressed SEND. That’s when it became real. When life felt dark. The peripheral became a blur. It was now time to stare the enemy in the face.
The Moment of Empowerment
She planned a “Hair-Shaving Party” after being assured by doctors that she would indeed lose all of her hair. She invited 50 of her closest friends and blasted Katy Perry’s Firework, a song of empowerment, and donated her hair to Locks of Love, a non-profit that provides hairpieces to financially disadvantaged children in the U.S. and Canada. The black-and-white still shots documenting her journey were emotionally raw. With each click of the camera, out came strength, vulnerability, tears, fear, inspiration . . . with hands held high. She met it face-to-face and took back the power.
Her friends rallied and love came in the form of notes, food, flowers, prayers and personal conversations. Her son’s football coach, parents and students made encouraging signs on Game Day, wearing pink wrist bands, socks and shoelaces to support the cause in her honor. They showed up . . . and they showed up big.
Her “Aha! Moment” came after six months of chemo and 33 rounds of radiation, where she had gained weight from the medications, began losing what little hair re-growth she had . . . hardly recognizing herself. She discovered that while on the outside, her appearance wasn’t sexy and sassy as usual, she found a deeper place, where your soul comes to the forefront. Your looks don’t define your core. They’re just the marketing side of who you are.
Cancer doesn’t define Niki, it’s just a blip on the radar of her entire life. Like a tapestry, our lives are woven pictures, threads of ideas, stories filled with life’s ups and downs to create a brilliant canvas of our life from beginning to end. This thread that found its way into her moment in time, created a platform for her to speak, share her story, empowering other women to walk through the storm. On her last day of radiation, the song “Firework” began to randomly play in the doctor’s office. With tears and perseverance, her journey to the finish line had come full circle. In wrapping up our three-hour conversation at the coffee shop, she looked down to see written on the wooden arm of her chair, read these words: “Logic will get you from A to Z; Imagination will get you Everywhere.” – Albert Einstein
Here’s to embracing life when it strikes and imagining what it CAN and WILL be – a platform to share our “Tapestry of Life” with those around us.
Click here to see more articles on MeaningfulWomen.com by Stephanie Pletka.
Stephanie Pletka is the creator of the blog, Spit-up & Heels. She lives in Alpharetta, GA with her husband John and four children, Jack, Will, Andrew and Ava.
I love you Niki!!! You are my ROCK!
Hi Stephanie and Niki. AMAZING. I am so moved by your beautiful story. I’m touched, inspired and awe struck at Nicki’s journey. Thanks for the reminder to do regular breast exams. My Mom has had breast cancer twice and part of me doesn’t want to do it for fear that I’ll actually find something. How stupid is that. I will do them now. I love your strength and how you shared your journey with your friends. I love how you approach your looks and now see that your core is way more beautiful than anything on the outside could ever be. I love that you’ve chosen to not let this define you, rather just see it as “part of the tapestry” of your life. Most of all, I love that you are recovered and well! Love to you both – thank you so much for sharing this incredible story.
Wow Stephanie, what a wonderfully written piece. Even tho it’s about me it takes me on a journey that seems so far away. I can’t thank you enough and I really hope that some one will be inspired by it. Xoxo
Niki you are the biggest motivation in all our lives! Just seeing how strong and positive you managed to stay throughout everything is amazing. You are such an awesome person inside and out and I love u so much! Thank u for giving others hope:)
LOVE U NIKI………..
Niki, you HAVE been an inspiration to me. You are an incredibly brave woman. I’m thrilled our paths have crossed!
Love You Niki!!! You have always been strong and always will be!
Niki, you are an amazing woman!! Thank you for consoling me while I had my breakdown(s) when it finally hit me that you really had cancer and what you were going to have to go through for the next several months. I will never forget our moments together shopping for make up, lashes and wigs!! Or going to one of your appointments and when you through an implant at me and almost popped. Always trying to lighten everyone else up!!! Love you girl!!
Those who are suffering from cancer they should chant “Om Nameh Shivai” because chanting of these words a peculiar light crop up in the body which reduces this chronic disease. Further who are suffering from this disease they should use Neem water during bathing, brush their teeth with the branch type of brush of Neem. Remain away from meat and and wine and smoking.
Aw you guys are the best…you have no idea how much ALL of your encouragement meant to me during last year and still now. I’m so blessed to have you as my dear fiends. I love every one of you.
Ellen, I appreciate your comments and am so grateful to Stephanie for writing this. It’s meant to be an inspiration so to hear from you is very touching and let’s me know that what we set out to do is working! Ellen do your exams!!! No time like the present and you will feel so much better once you’ve checked that off your list! Best wishes, niki
Niki,
you went through this with much grace and dignity…you are my hero!
Love you always.
So inspiring!!!!! I will make sure to pass this along to family and friends. You and your family have endured much. God Bless you and your family. Just finished the breastcancer marathon on Febuary 12th. It’s called the Donna 26.2. So many inspiring survivors!
Take Care.
This is a beautifully-penned story about Niki! Her spirit is amazing, and like so many Southern-born women, she always tries hard to make everyone else feel comfortable around her — even if the subject is her own illness and suffering. I have lived many years beyond Niki’s 39, but I don’t even pretend I can relate to anything of this magnitude. It is life-changing. In Niki’s case, she was a tender, loving person with so much to offer the world. A creative soul to the bone. And, today, after this trial, she is even more so. We all have a lot to learn from her courage and loving spirit. I give her a standing ovation.
What a wonderfully written story! I’m so lucky to have Niki for a best friend. Love her with all my heart.
To anyone reading this…it’s Niki. This article was written about me. Tomorrow 3-712 I find out the results of my first CT scan since finishing treatments six months ago. I want to add to Stephanie’s most beautiful interpretation of my journey and post my results as soon as I get them…I believe in the power of positive thoughts…I ask you to think positively for me and with me.
“Imagination gets you Everywhere”
Niki
It’s Niki…I am indeed Cancer FREE!!!
A special thank you to GA Cancer Specialist, Dr.Szabo, and his entire staff for not only treating me but treating me with respect, support, and encouragement! This is a wonderful day!
A new lease on life and I don’t intend to waste it!
Yeah Niki, I’m so excited for you. Your future is bright, girl. Here’s to the next 50 yrs. Waaa hoo!