Would you know what to do if you suspected your partner was having an affair? It’s a toxic situation, of that there is no doubt. You will be suffering a lot of pain and stress, and you might find it hard to keep all those emotions bottled up. But, it’s important to try and keep as clear a head as possible. Take a step back, take a deep breath, and read on to find out what you should do.
Don’t steam in all guns blazing
Don’t dive into the situation head first and make accusations. You might have suspicions, but that’s all they are at this point in time. If you make accusations, and it turns out that they were untrue, you risk losing your partner’s trust, and it could signal an end to your relationship.
Find your evidence
Before making any claims, it is essential that you have evidence to back them up. Catching them at it is the most effective way, of course. But, in the vast majority of cases, it’s going to be hard to prove. You could hire a professional to investigate your suspicions. They will help you make sure that keep onside with the law and give you the best chance of uncovering what is going on. If you decide to go it alone, you have to be careful that you don’t break any laws. If you hack into their accounts or try and record any activity, you might end up with an expensive lawsuit on your hands.
Now comes the tricky part – confronting your partner with the evidence. Don’t bring that evidence with you – make sure it is hidden away safely. Be as calm as you can – it will be difficult, but the only other option will lead to a more painful time. Be upfront, straight to the point, and don’t take any excuses. Make it clear that your partner has one choice at that point in time – to stop the affair immediately.
Telling other people
The amount of other people you tell is down to you, of course.But, there are some people that need to find out. Anyone that could be affected by your splitting up should be in the know, of course. But, be aware that if you go around telling everyone, it won’t leave a lot of wriggle room for your future.
Making your choice
You might want to throw your partner out and never see them again, and that’s fine.If you are young and free, then you can do what you want. But, if you have children, there will be other consequences. Of course, the choice is down to you, and you should pursue whatever line of action you want. However, if you feel you could forgive – although not forgetting – then that’s OK, too. You will need to make a set of rules about behaviour and expectations, and it will be slow progress. Counselling can help, so see if you can find a local therapist or relationship expert to help you out.
We hope this never happens to you, but if it does, at least, you will have the tools to deal with this awful situation.