Are you noticing how you fight with your man more and more? Persistent arguing in the house is something more than just something that annoys you like a frustrating habit he has; it’s more than likely that it’s something a lot deeper. You’re not alone, practically millions and millions of couples around the world find this is happening to them. What was once a romantic whirlwind which you thought would never end, slowly but surely, turns into a new fight every day. Relationships drift apart, even from our closest friends sometimes, it’s just part and parcel of life and human nature. But, life is short, and what was once there can be there again, that spark of love and feeling so close with another. However, it’s going to take a lot of self-reflection and willingness to communicate on a deeper level than before. By delving into someone’s deepest darkest thoughts, and true beliefs, you can understand them thoroughly and work on perceived shortfalls; so all is not lost.
Annoying habits
Let’s face it, nobody’s perfect, and in fact, we all have annoying habits that we don’t find anything wrong with. If your boyfriend or husband has one or more of these, the issue could be deeper, and it’s more than likely he isn’t doing them just to make you mad. If you see nails lying around and you know they’re not yours, try to observe your man and see when he does this. Biting nails and spitting them out is disgusting, but don’t focus on what, focus on why. People who bite their nails have some form of a nervous nature that causes them to want to ‘shed.’ It’s the same type of nervousness that makes people pull out their hair. So talk to him about where this nature could be coming from, perhaps it was something in his childhood, or does he find it hard to relax, is it stress from work, etc. Most nasty habits are drawn from a place of anxiety, so engage in conversation, politely and respectfully to inquire deeper.
Philosophical outlook
If your boyfriend is paying less attention to you and your needs, it could be more than ‘he’s just not that into you.’ People who are self-centered are expressing in subtle terms, how alone they feel. But, be careful, there’s nothing wrong with people wanting their own space, so if you find yourselves apart from each other while at home, don’t see this as inherently negative. You should read more at thriveafter50.com, about this subject of being selfish and what it could mean. Engage in an existential conversation. Men are very analytical, and they process thoughts in a philosophical questioning form, rather than emotional. How does he feel about life in general?
Asking this type of pertinent question is about finding out his overall outlook on life, does it mean anything to him, where does he think he’ll be in a few years time both personally and professionally? Does he feel alone with regards to these questions, and if so, why does he feel he can’t open up about this? Often times many people who are more concerned about themselves, find it hard to relate to other people. This is not uncommon, and rather than berating him for it, talk about it, try to get on his level and see the world through his eyes. You never know, you both might have a stronger connection with each other, if you stop asking questions about your relationship, and talk about life in general, as two human beings trying to find common ground.
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