Going through a breakup can cause people to do some pretty drastic things. You tried everything — from “taking a break” to relationship counseling — but it just wasn’t meant to be. Emotions are high and our judgment can easily be clouded, meaning that we don’t exactly make the most sensible decisions. These bad decisions usually cause more tensions and make the situation between you and your ex a lot worse. If you’ve broken up with somebody recently, here are a few mistakes that you should avoid.
One of the most common reactions to a breakup is to start blaming yourself. We have a tendency to obsess over why the relationship ended and the conclusion that we usually come to is that it must have been something inherently wrong with us as a person. Beating yourself up about it will just make you feel worse, and the things that you’re thinking aren’t true. The relationship didn’t end because you are a bad person, it ended because you weren’t right for each other and that’s nobody’s fault.
Thinking About Your Ex
Constantly thinking about your ex will just stop you from moving forward and before you know it you’ll be stuck in a rut. The no contact rule tip is a good rule to go by. You certainly shouldn’t be having any contact with your ex at all. Whether you want to work things out with them or not, you need a few weeks at least to let things calm down so you can both think rationally about things. If you want to move on, seeing your ex regularly is going to make it a lot more difficult. Idealizing them is also a bad idea, focus on the things that you didn’t like about the relationship instead of all the good times. Thinking about all of the reasons that you wanted to be with them in the first place will only drag out the grieving process.
Obviously, you are going to need a bit of time to get over your relationship before moving on, but a lot of people avoid it for far too long. Romantic opportunities don’t have to be anything too serious. Working with an online therapist and going on a few casual dates with somebody can help you to realize that your ex isn’t the only person in the world, there are plenty of other people out there that you could enjoy spending time with. Picturing yourself with other people is one of the key steps to getting over an old relationship.
Many people tend to withdraw from their friends and family after a breakup. Whether it’s because they don’t want to talk about it, or perhaps they don’t have the energy to get up and go out to see people, it’s not a healthy way to deal with things. One of the most valuable tools that you have at the end of a relationship is a support network of family and friends. Talking through your emotions will help you no end when you are trying to move on, bottling it up won’t get you anywhere. It’s also very healthy to go out and enjoy yourself. Spending time with family and friends is the best way to do this.