Every relationship has problems. No matter how perfect it looks on the outside, no matter how deeply in love the couple is, it’s bound to have problems at some point. The only difference between good and bad relationships aren’t really the problems themselves, but how you approach them. Has the bond with your partner suffered over time and now you’re not sure if you’re truly going to make it? As long as both of you are willing to work on it, there’s always a chance to fix what’s broken. To save your relationship, these are the things you must do.
Determine the cause of the problem
Perhaps one of the partners cheated, or maybe one of you feel like you’re being taken for granted, or maybe the whole relationship simply feels stale. You’re more roommates than you are a couple, and things have fallen into a rut. To begin fixing everything, you must first figure out what’s missing—are you lonely? Hurt? Angry? Bored? Begin this process by taking some time alone and really thinking things through. Don’t enter into a yelling match and blame each other because it won’t help. Spend some time on your own and write a pro and con list if you have to. Be fair and write about both good things and bad things. This way you’ll get a slightly clearer picture of your relationship.
The best way to heal your relationship is to get some objective, outside help, and there’s nothing more useful than couples counseling. If you’re reluctant or unable to meet a psychologist or therapist in person, you can always try online therapy, which can be quite effective at teaching you both how to communicate successfully and solve your problems. A professional can remind you of all the things that made you attracted to each other in the first place and help you handle conflicts in a safe, constructive manner.
Go on a trip to revive the romance
Falling into a rut is one of the most common relationship pitfalls and it’s exactly the thing that ends up killing romance in the end. You have to shake things up sometimes and experience new things together, and going away on a trip is a great way to spend some time alone and reconnect. Stay in a cozy, beautiful hotel room that will cater to all your needs, order a ton of room service as you kiss and giggle together, and allow yourself to enjoy the sheer romance of the moment. This is also a great time to reconnect physically, to have really good sex and find pleasure in each other’s touch again. Being away from home and obligations will give you enough breathing room to focus on each other and remember what’s so amazing about the other person.
Figure out what you need
You need to understand your needs and communicate them very clearly and openly. If you need more space, then ask for space. If you need more help around the house, then ask for it. Calmly, gently, without any judgment or blame, simply state your needs and ask your partner to do the same. After that, you can make compromises and come up with solutions. Don’t expect anyone to anticipate what you want—your partner is not a mind reader, and silent resentment won’t get you anywhere.
Schedule date nights
Couples must make time for each other, and it needs to be your sacred alone time that no one gets to interrupt unless it’s an emergency. Couples with children are usually the ones who put their relationship on a backburner because kids are now around, but this is a big mistake that can actually end up hurting the whole family in the long run. You need each other, and you need simple things like date nights to keep that flame of romance alive. This will remind you that you’re in an actual relationship, that you’re not just roommates who coexist in the same house.
Don’t underestimate the power of simple touch
While sex is extremely important, touching isn’t just about sexual pleasure. Pet your partner’s head in passing, snuggle up to them when you watch a movie. Hold their hands, kiss when you come back from work, caress them when you see them. These little signs of affection mean a great deal because they communicate love without you having to say anything, and they can easily spark interest and attraction that might have been dormant. To revive your love, both physical and emotional aspect of the relationship must be addressed.
In the end, the one thing that you can’t do without is the willingness to make it work. If you let go of resentment and put an effort into making it work, there’s a really good chance you’ll actually make it.