A question for all of us: If even Serena Williams, who is an embodiment of a strong, independent, powerful woman, succumbed to the unexpected urge to have a fairy-tale wedding with the ball gown and the whole package the moment she laid her eyes on it (even though she had never pictured herself that way), how can the rest of us resist the need to dress up all in white and act like a princess for a day? What is it that makes us turn into “typical females” the moment we start planning our wedding?
Does premarital counseling make a difference?
Ideally, just as you go to the doctor for an annual check-up, you might consider going to a couples therapist or marriage counselor for premarital counseling ahead of tying the knot. This isn’t to suggest there’s anything wrong or that you and your partner “need fixing,” rather seeking the help of a professional should not be daunting or embarrassing. Sure, the word “therapy” has some connotations – which is why many perceive couples therapy as an admittance of “something’s wrong” – however given the staggering divorce rates, one of the best things you can do to help save your marriage before it actually begins is premarital counseling. You can cover all of the important topics – from children and religion, to finances and sex…plus work to get on the same page about the wedding festivities themselves!
Why do women make sure a big deal about their wedding day?
Back to the original question, what is it that makes us want to make an absolutely huge deal out of our wedding day, regardless of our mindset and background? Why are women so much susceptible to throwing a fairy tale themed party? Let’s take a look at the possible reasons:
First of all, ever since we were little girls, we went to sleep with stories about princesses and princes, and they all ended with a happily ever after, i.e. the wedding. From the moment we were born, our minds were shaped by tales of the utmost goal in life – tying the knot. Therefore, we were
conditioned to think of this as the most important event in our lives which is the introduction to eternal bliss (as I said, we were “conditioned”).
In addition, how many fairy tales were about the common people? It was always about some royals, so our little heads had the images of palaces and luxury inside them. If you fall asleep so many times over the years with such fantasies in your head, you don’t have to be much of a psychologist to realize it must have affected us in a way.
The influence of marketing
Next, let’s talk about something else more related to the adults, and that is propaganda. Disney has outstanding marketing, doesn’t it? Everywhere you look, there is Frozen merchandise, and you’ve been seeing such things all around since you were little. Naturally, the main characters are extremely appealing, let alone beautiful, and we’ve been admiring them for ages. Even the theme songs are real earworms. Disney cartoons have entered our lives at an early age, and what is their happy ending in most cases?
A huge wedding, of course! Happiness equals a big white dress.
Now, let’s discuss one of our innate desires, which not every person will admit to possess, but it is present in every man and woman. The desire to feel beautiful.
It goes without saying that views on beauty vary greatly, but in its essence, humans strive to feel beautiful and admired. Just take a look at all those sculptures and paintings in human history. The idea of beauty has always been present. For some, that may be a masculine body, while others will love certain features of their face. Even Hitler was probably immensely pleased with his mustache. Jokes aside, we have that need to look and feel gorgeous. Judging from the influences around us, it’s most easily achievable if you look like a princess on your wedding day.
To sum up…
Ultimately, women want fairy tale weddings for different reasons. There’s a bit of great marketing, a bit of subconscious messages, human instincts and, last but not least, personal sense of aesthetics with those who really enjoy huge events. Actually, you can even book a wedding inside one of Disney theme parks and have all the characters attend, if that is your heart’s desire.
But, eventually, it all comes down to this: every woman deserves to have her own happy ending, or, should we say, a happy beginning. Deciding to spend the rest of our lives with someone we love is a joyous event, and it’s only natural that we wish to share our joy with the other people who matter greatly to us.